Torchwood Four, location unknown
by TheRealSnowWhite
Summary: The mysterious Torchwood Four -they are never to be found and their location is unknown. Until a technical problem crashes them into the middle of Torchwood Three. A gothic teenage genius, a homicidal hologram and a team leader brought up in Torchwood.
1. Chapter 1

**Mission report 592/640**

**Author: Neil, M. **_**Rote, J**_**. Hologram NG31/7AZ.**

Hopefully this gets sent out to the right people. I've been hearing an awful lot of funny things about Torchwood One on the server, and I don't know whether they're true.

_If you ask me, the server's been playing up AGAIN. Someone doesn't clean it properly. NG, I'm talking to you!_

**Don't blame me. I can't exactly clean it when someone uninstalls my hard-light software. I am not going to move every single grain of sand from that thing telepathically- it would kill me!**

_Good._

This report's being sent to head office and to Yvonne- stop writing all over it! And NG I can see you when you stand in the corner. You are not invisible and if I see you making that hand gesture again I shall deprogram your fingers. And I mean it!

**Fine. Not that you appreciate having such a complex and valuable piece of technology that I am. I was created for the highest importance and all you seem to use me for is suicide missions and the cleaning.**

_What's wrong with that? You want us to die while you could have done the same thing and not get damaged at all?_

**A simple thank you would suffice. And the celebration of International Hologram Day- Holograms have feelings too!**

_I shall write it in my diary with pleasure. When is it again? Ahh, after I start my menstrual cycle._

Stop writing things in MY diary, Johnny. Right. Time to start again.

Three years ago, on the 19th February 2005, our modified Direction-Finder alerted us to suspicious alien activity within the confines of the Sahara desert

_Isn't it dessert?_

That's a pudding.

_Oh. Sorry Molls._

Anyway, the Torchwood Four Direction-Finder has had an alien program installed that takes our building directly to the source of alien activity.

_Yeah, and why I haven't had a life in SEVEN years._

**You signed up for it.**

_Stay out of it circuit-board._

**BLACK CARD- conversation over. I'm going to play with the emo-hawk; she's in the form of a dog at the moment.**

_I'm incredibly disappointed._

Anyway, this has lead our team to live a very nomadic lifestyle- our building is very ramshackle, our equipment miss-matched and sometimes explodes on us, and we are unable to have any life outside our work. We cannot live the building except on missions, as our base is almost always never in the same place for two days straight.

Our latest mission has led us to live three years in some of the world's harshest desert conditions, with no help from outside sources and with limited equipment.

A new form of alien life has developed, perfectly evolved to live in Earth's harsh desert climates. It is a nitrogen based life-form, and incredibly vicious towards humans.

We have not discovered yet what they feed upon, but they have discovered that they enjoy to feed upon human flesh.

_God yes- my left testicle shall never be the same. The little bastard crawled up my **shorts**!_

Yes- when we were first taken to the desert, and we had changed into something suitable for the region

_Something suitable…ha. We haven't changed clothes in two years. I cannot wait to see the sweet sight of a launderette._

We proceeded outside whereupon Williams, Alice stunned one of the alien life forms. I started to make a preliminary analysis when it woke up and crawled up the aforementioned shorts.

_Lovely wording._

I couldn't put what you said- 'Oh no, the little bastard's got me! It's got me! Fucking Christ and all his smegging angels I shall never have children!'

_I never will._

Good good.

_Oh, aren't you happy for it? It's me with the damaged goods here._

I think NG still has the video loaded onto her mainframe.

**Single most hilarious moment of my life.**

_I thought you were playing with the emo-hawk?_

**It's with Alice so I got bored and decided to sit in the computer for a while and watch you two type. And check on the Direction-Finder; it's being iffy again. It won't settle on a location- it keeps chopping and changing. But one location keeps cropping up so hopefully it'll sort out the bug in a few hours.**

_Good. Hopefully somewhere with people and washing machines instead of the top of a mountain._

**Not my fault.**

_Aren't you part computer? And our technician?_

**Sorry- moron does not compute.**

The creature was however stopped by the alien life form our team has a mascot; the self-mutating life form we have named the emo-hawk, after the creature in Red Dwarf. It managed to neutralize the life form by biting its head off. After the subject was deceased, it allowed me to make a better study of it with the help of Rote, Johnny.

It was revealed to have venomous teeth and to be of a species we have never encountered before. (See enclosed report) Overnight, Williams Alice did a molecular structure over view and discovered the nitrogen basis. She theorized that it could be possible to eliminate the species with a selenium based toxin.

It took six months to develop to the toxin; we had to send Hologram NG31/7AZ and Rote, Johnny out to find natural deposits of copper. Williams, Alice then developed these into a selenium based liquid compound by use of a modified Tissue Compression unit that has been adapted to exert crushing forces on materials to change their natural state.

The life forms began to mutate and I was able to make a more detailed examination of the creature and its life cycle. (See enclosed report.) They developed the ability to see through our perception filter and we faced attacks daily. We were, however, able to keep them at bay with our Mark II proton blaster.

**That thing is hard to aim. Can we ask for a new one?**

_Yeah, it has a horrible habit of misfire. It nearly blew up the roof when them little buggers were crawling up the sides._

**It's all rusty. I bet Torchwood 3 have a nice one. They get all the good stuff.**

_We never hear the end of it on the server. 'We've got this' 'We've got that' uh huh uhuhu_

**Whinge whinge whinge balahahahaa oh no we've fucked up our jobs cos we use things first ask questions later**

_Ooohhoooooo we all live in the land of sheep and we're amazing cos we don't have to collect the junk that randomly starts working and mutating frogs into… ... ...bigger frogs._

**Last Torchwood meeting I swear down that they were giving me well funny looks. They are hologramist. I don't remember them being that bad you know.**

_By their reckoning, your programming should be locked away and only used in experiments. They'd use the EMP buzzer on you all the time, I reckon._

**I can't tell 'em apart (you humans all look the same really) but one of them looked at me as if 'What are you, strange light feature?'**

_Hang on……that's that poem you wrote. I think he was staring at you because you wouldn't go into hard light. You wouldn't go into hard light because you were sulking. You sat for the whole meeting in the table. We could only see your forehead._

**Yeah well…..their computer equipment was not fit to have my hard light software on. It kept rejecting it.**

You TOLD the computer to. And can we stop this please? We will not resort to making childish noises while I'm in command of this unit. And I can hear you Johnny; going 'Ooooooo' in that manner does not help your evaluation report which I am writing at the moment. Let's not bitch about other Torchwood units. I'm sure they do not bitch about us.

_What would they say? 'Oh no, they have no social life oh woe is me?' 'Oh dear why can't we suffer 3 years of unbearable heat, insect bites and utter isolation?' 'Fuck me, I wish we had one of those downright helpful and informative holomorphical units that Torchwood 4 has!'_

**I am taking that as a slight against my character. BLACK CARD Johnny BLACK CARD. It is not my fault that your atmosphere destroyed part of my data programming, thus making my personality profile incomplete.**

_I could fix it if you let me turn you off. Which you won't. You resist every attempt._

**Because you wouldn't turn me back on. You don't like me.**

_You're useful, if annoying. And I could fix that IF YOU LET ME._

**No! You wouldn't bring this me back; you'd choose one of the other ones stored on my data discs.**

_They might be even worse then you are, so I think I'll stick with you._

**That's refreshing to hear. Wasn't it last week when you threw that dart through my head?**

_You tried to **TOUCH MY CAR**._

That is a pretty fair point. He doesn't like his car being touched.

**I AM MADE OF LIGHT PARTICLES THEREFORE I AM UNABLE TO TOUCH.**

_THEREFORE IT SHOULDN'T DAMAGE YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST WHEN I THROW THINGS AT YOU._

Okay black cards for all and NG you are getting more and more like Rimmer every day; I don't think I should let you watch Red Dwarf anymore.

**It's the only DVDs I'm allowed to watch, Alice won't let me near hers. They're her private ones.**

_She only likes staring at Jonathan Deppth._

**I said that. Then she threatened to turn me off so I went and sulked in the mainframe for an hour or two and had a conversation with the chameleon circuit. He's feeling very depressed.**

_Ok….._

When we perfected the selenium toxin

_Slime everywhere…..I will never watch 'Evolution'. Ever ever. Too many bad memories._

We proceeded to began the cull of the creatures which we had named

_Little bastards._

**The little buggery smegging bastards.**

Nitrogen fiends. (we filed a culling report under 'Health and Safety' as they pose a risk towards the Empire.)

**I never liked the name 'nitrogen fiends'. I preferred 'obtuse beings'. It's more poetic.**

_One of these days I am going to switch off your artsy switch so you can stop trying to create yourself a personality._

Anyway, children, it took the best part of a year before we had the situation firmly in hand. We left only old females; being sure that none would be able to mutate and breed. We believed this to be the last we would hear of these beings and settled down for the crossing to the next mission.

The building rematerialized in the Australian outback. To our dismay, the life forms had spread there. We spent the next year and a half controlling the population to a safe level.

_Sand, sand and more sand. But we did get some lovely pictures of us by Ayers rock._

**You sound gayer by the minute.**

_Not my words! Molly's words! And anyway, the emo-hawk enjoyed it, we could hardly drag it away._

**Ummm hummm. Alice liked it too; she's got a nice tan. Molly has too; she's covered in freckles.**

_I wouldn't say COVERED, more like a smattering_

**And how would you know, eh? Other than the ones on her arms and face, she has them all in a circle round her belly button and on her lower back. And how would you know they're there, eh?**

_Well I_

**Either you've been spying on her or there's something going on….actually considering it's **_**you **_**you've probably been perving on her.**

_And how do you know then?? You been looking?_

**Hardly. I have automatic CCTV coverage of all Torchwood employees built into my programming. It's part of the hologram vow of servitude; to keep a close watch on all those who enslave you.**

_Enslave? Yeesh. And ALL Torchwood employees? Even Molly's father up in Edinburgh?_

**Yeah. I'll send you the live feed right now.**

_BLOODY HELL. That is in incredibly freaky. You haven't got any of me have you??_

**No.**

_I can hear you laughing from here. I can only take that as a yes. Can you delete them?_

**AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY. ACCESS DENIED. ABORT. ABORT. AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY. ACCESS DENIED. ABORT. ABORT.**

_I take that as a no. When was this installed? And why was I not informed??_

**Torchwood secrets act 1953 AUTHORISED PERSONNEL ONLY. Initiative to keep track of Torchwood employees and keep dangerous information from the public.**

_You've been at Torchwood that long??_

**Yes. I have video files dating back to April 1953. I was only installed in Torchwood 4 five years ago; I used to be based at Torchwood One, then I was studied at Torchwood Two (where I met Molly) then we both went to Torchwood Three for at bit.**

_That explains your slight hatred and why Molly can use you so well. Have you got the videos of when she was there?_

**Why?**

_No reason. Just curious._

**Hmmm…..anyway yeah I do. I can't delete them and they were the only way I could look around. I was very pissed off with being moved around and their hologramist views so I tended to be on Standby the whole time. Look, I'm patching it right now. And you're not the first to look. Alice wanted to see.**

_Why? That girl doesn't like anything but guys, eyeliner and bad rock music._

**Yeah well it involves at least one of those things. Three of that one thing to be exact.**

_Oh. Was Molly friendly with them?_

**We were there barely three weeks; I doubt she made any lasting connections. One did know her father; I have him on three separate occasions at Torchwood Two.**

_Oh. Can I see the videos then?_

What's all this then? I nip to the toilet and get a coke and you're all talking about my posterior and potential past boyfriends.

_What?? I wasn't implying anything of the sort!_

Yeah, yeah whatever, I can see you steaming from here. And for your comfort, I have had no relations with any past co-workers. It is okay for women to be friends with men, Johnny. And Alice is sixteen. She likes any male who isn't you.

_Oh. Okay._

Why are you so bothered anyway?

_No reason. Told you. Just interesting is all. I'd tell you about past co-workers if you asked._

Okay. Nice to see you sweat, though. You were really panicking, I could see it.

**Panicking about what??**

I'll tell you later.

_No you won't._

She'll know anyway.

_It can't access them herself unless she's given permission from our unit captain right? And that's you!_

**What are you hiding? I'm very intrigued. Humanity always intrigues me.**

I'll tell you later.

**I want to know now ATTENTION THIS IS ALICE. I'M SENDING A MESSAGE THROUGH NG. THE DIRECTION FINDER IS SPARKING. REPEAT, THIS IS NOT ME FUCKING AROUND. IT HAS LOCKED ONTO A DIFFICULT LOCATION. DANGER. Bloody hell Alice please type light handedly! Oh shit, she's not lying.**

_Bloody hell! The place is shaking!_

-Report ends here.-

**A/N: All feedback welcome. Just a little idea I had about the missing Torchwood Unit. I might write more, but only if people like it. You can even submit your own reports, if you like.**


	2. Chapter 2

We landed with a awful, gut wrenching, sickeningly painful crash. For working here for five years, I'd never experienced a landing like it. We've had bad landings (snow storms, tornadoes, volcano explosions…you name it.) but this was from a little town south of bad. The jolts from the landing sent all our teetering stacks of rusty, old fashioned and held together by string machines everywhere as we fell to the floor.

A large cloud of cloaking white dust fell down on us. I coughed it up as it covered my face and hair.

"Johnny?" I choked. I heard a small cry of assent. "NG?"

"Present and correct Molly." Her metallic voice cut across the silence of the room. I could see her vaguely flickering from the corner of my eye as I desperately scraped dust out of them.

"Is your hardware damaged?"

"Scanning…scanning….no damage currently detected but I shall conduct a full analysis later."

"Okay. Johnny? Is he up? Awake?"

"Yes Molly. Here he is!"

Her flickering image skipped past; an IQ of over 6000 permanently kept in a childish mind. NG's data drive had been damaged beyond repair due to being buried under the ground for 3 million years. Her personality would be forever flawed, making her volatile and unpredictable. She currently appeared to be cackling with glee; she hated Johnny with more passion than I thought a computer could muster.

"How is he?" I asked, struggling to get up.

"He might be breathing, I can't tell." She said it conversationally, as if she was simply noting what the weather was.

"Bloody hell!" I jumped up and ran as best I could over to where NG was kneeling in the air. A lock of Johnny's thick black hair poked through the wreckage of what had been our improvised shielding system. "No no no…."

I started scrabbling through the wreckage, cutting my hand badly but I ignored it. I soon cleared his forehead; it was still warm. I slid my hand down into the wreckage and located his neck. I felt his pulse beating fiercely and breathed a sigh of relief. He was alive. I continued my work and his face was clear. He eyes were shut. Unconscious. His face was white with dust and it aged him. I smiled and brushed it away, revealing his clear skin.

"I'm awake, I'm awake I swear." He slurred, moving his head a little. My smile widened.

"Are you okay? Can you move everything?" I cleared more dust away from his face and hair.

"Are you dying? Are you bleeding internally? I've always wanted to see that." NG shuffled forward, eyes shining eagerly. Johnny's face screwed up and he moved his head around.

"Shut it circuit board." He growled. "I can move everything Molls. I think I can get out. "

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He flashed me his roguish smile. "I think you should check on Alice now."

"Shit!" She'd forgotten about Alice. In her concern over Johnny, the small girl had slipped from her mind. She stood up whilst Johnny struggled to get up, and scanned the room for Alice's thin body.

"Alice? Alice? Are you okay? Answer me."

"Molly…?" I heard her quiet voice choking back the thick dust. "I'm under the perception filters and main monitor."

They were the heaviest objects we had and I knew I had to find her fast. Alice was slight and skinny, unable to handle that amount of pressure.

The black corner of our main monitor stuck up out of the rubble. NG skipped over and sunk down through the rubble. Her head popped up a second later and gave me a thumbs up.

"She's moving and I don't think there's any major damage skipper."

"Excellent. Alice, can you make your way up?"

"I think so…." A hand suddenly burst up. It was Alice's; pale, thin and black nibbled nails. I held it gently, stroking my thumb around the back of her hand. Her fingers poked through the crust of debris and I pulled them though. Her head came next, gasping for air. The white dust had made her pale complexion even paler, and aged her hair. It also settled in the gash on my palm, but I ignored the stinging.

"I'm okay Molls….is most of the equipment salvageable?"

"Scanning….scanning…." NG's eyes glazed over and the blur of green writing scrolled over her eyes. "64 percent systems damage. Hologram, weapons and perception filters fully functional."

"Well, it's great that we still have that incredibly helpful hologram of ours isn't it?" Spat Johnny bitterly. He'd pulled himself up and limped over to us. "I bet my car is ruined."

"The whole base is virtually destroyed and all you care about your car?" Alice asked incredulously, thin eyebrows threatening to jump off her forehead.

"It's my car." He turned to NG. "What can you tell about the car? How is it? I can take it!"

NG grinned wickedly. "I predict 92 percent damage to Torchwood Four jeep."

Johnny's face crumbled. He fell slowly to his knees, raising his hands to his head. "No no no no…." He cried, grabbing handfuls of hair and pulling them.

"Of course, that's just a predicted estimate and checking the CCTV I can see that the car is perfectly fine. The force field lockers kept in place. Sorry about that." She smiled sweetly as he raised his head slowly, his face contorted into fury.

"You little bastard…" He hissed. Then launched himself at her.

Of course, he couldn't hurt her at all, but it was hilarious to watch him cursing and howling at her while she ran cackling in front. I got Alice free and was checking her for injuries. Johnny finally stopped the chase, wheezing and clutching his knee like a old man. He shrugged, silently apologising for his useless excursions, and I smiled at him. He frowned slightly at my cut hand. He sat down next to me and held it gently, cleaning some of the dirt away.

"So Molls, where are we then? Because if you ask me, those readings before the crash showed that something dragged us in. And we need to check it out if that's the case."

"Preliminary scans show a high percentage of electronics, alien medical technology and alien weapons. Our little arrival has sent a blackout through the area and probably demolished the inside as bad as it is in here. I suggest we stake it out and take all we find as prisoners." NG came back over, satisfied that Johnny would no longer chase her.

"And any life forms actually out there? I don't think we're in the right state to run out guns blazing if you ask me…" Johnny tutted loudly. "This cut's going to need stitches. And I have no idea where our medical kit is… silly girl!"

NG cupped her hands together; she was accessing the local CCTV network and watching the live feed. She shut them loudly and shook her head. "Can't detect anything…." She broke off, clutching her temple. "Bloody alarm bells…." She gasped.

"Alarm bells? That must be us right?" Asked Johnny, paying more attention to my hand than the pain-stricken hologram. NG clapped her hands and a black elastic headband appeared keeping her pixellated fringe out of her scowling face.

"You would know if it was here because you could fucking hear them too! I get them all the time but not this bad….it's like I'm at another Torchwood! I mean, I hear the other Torchwood's alarms in here all the time but not like this…." The edges of her image flickered. "I need to reboot. I'm sorry, but I have to reboot-" Her words were broken off as her image burst in a shower of falling light. We jumped up in shock. Alice started screaming; Johnny started swearing.

We relied on her so much. And now God knows what had happened to her.

"Can anyone else hear that?" Alice whispered, her kohl rimmed eyes widening in fear. "It sounds like an alarm…."

Johnny kicked the floor in anger. "Great. Now we're going to get fucking killed and the stupid circuit board needs to 'reboot'-" He angrily air quoted the word. "-we can't operate without her. She's our backup and our communication. We're screwed."

"She's needed a reboot for a long time." I said as calmly as possible. I crouched back down at the fallen monitor which flashed with numbers and letters. "It says she's gone onto rebooting standby. She won't project for…" I scanned down the scan which was rapidly filling with intense calculations. "For at least a good couple of hours."

"Um…if that alarm definitely came from a Torchwood unit then doesn't that mean we're at a Torchwood Unit? And an empty one which means that they're gonna come back and find us and be a little bit pissed…"

Bless Alice and her abnormally large IQ. She is the single one of us who has common sense.

We both just looked at her, gaping.

"Well, it makes sense to me…" She looked at us nervously. "Why don't you just check?"

I got up slowly, crossed the destroyed room, and opened the main door.

"Great….it **is **another Torchwood Unit."

"Which one?"

"The one you and NG spend all your free time complaining about… well, Alice welcome to Torchwood Three, home of the Rift and other dangerous things. Some very dangerous things…"

* * *

**A/N: Chapter dedicated to Gamine Madcap (first reviewer) and BattleBabe (fist story alert)**

**Sorry for the strange first chapter... wanted to introduce the characters before they meet up with our beloved Torchwood team.**

**Well, Alice doesn't get much of an introduction but you get the idea... I hope lol**

**Anyway, R&R is always appreciated, you might even get a dedication lol.**

**devildrummagirl**


	3. Chapter 3

I don't understand… you seemed dead chatty about this place the other day. Why do you hate it now?"

There was a lot of things I didn't understand about Molly. Lots of things I didn't really understand about people really.

I was brought up in a Catholic orphanage. Teenage mother, couldn't cope…. Blah blah blah. Same old. I hated it I suppose, but I've never really know no different apart from living here with the team. The nuns were strict and I was raised up to be a good girl. I spent all my time in the library, which is where I suppose my immense knowledge has come from.

(When I was picked up for Torchwood, they did some scans of the place and apparently something was giving off this intelligence radiation or something like that… I wasn't listening.)

I never thought myself very intelligent until three years ago when I managed to hack into the Torchwood Four server and NG's brain. It inadvertently brought the unit to the orphanage where they, being pretty pissed, wanted to know who had done it. They did a intelligence test and I was revealed to have the impossible IQ of 248. They were impressed and awed and contacted Torchwood One at once. And took me with them.

I was thirteen then and rather naive. Now I'm sixteen and I spend a lot of time with NG which is NOT for the faint hearted. (She's a pretty bad influence…. You eat in front of her or put a drink in front of her on a like, table and she'll scream and call you a dill hole.) I'm a bit gothic I guess, which doesn't really suit my complexion of fair skin and fair hair but… Johnny says I'm still naïve and that there's loads of things they won't even tell me yet. Apparently my 'Catholic background makes it unsuitable to discuss these topics right now'. Pfft. Just because I have no social skills…..

I watched the burnished auburn head that was Molly stride around what is… or was, Torchwood Three. Our building kinda really smashed up the place. I was crouched under what appeared to be a desk (a small cuddly mouse was lying on the floor next to me) watching Molly stride around and Johnny… do nothing.

"Because I don't like it here." She snapped, biting her nails angrily and clutching her cut hand close to her.

"Why? Seems okay… death. Destruction. Doo-"

"Say one more D word and I'll knock you into one. Next WednesDay." Snapped Johnny, tense as Molly. "These people are different than us. They don't appreciate us. I mean, look! A basketball hoop? In work? Do we have one? Do we have time for one? No!"

"We have Twister night! And Red Dwarf night! Anyway, this seems like a perfectly fine establishment-"

Johnny sighed. "You only like it because there are men working here."

My cheeks felt very hot and I covered them with my hands. "No… that's not the case…"

"Yes it is Alice. And I just need a plan, then we can get out of here as quickly as possible." It was unlike Molly to be snappy with me and now… she was like one of the nuns. Angry and cross. Criss cross. Noughts and crosses.

I laughed to myself and Molly stamped her foot in frustration.

"And now you've gone off on some random tangent and have forgotten what we were talking about." She gave a little scream of anger before taking some deep breaths, calming herself down. "Okay, easy girl…. Easy, easy. You two just have to understand I really don't want to be here. Didn't want to be last time and now I'm back. Okay…" She suddenly punched a fist into the air. "Got a plan! I have a plan!" She smiled, giving a quick flash of the famous Molly Neil smile. Guaranteed to make your day 100 percent better! No faults, no refunds! Smiles-U-Like! Sell-

"Alice, can you patch me into the local wireless network?" Asked Molly breaking into my stream of thoughts.

"Um yeah where from?"

"There's a unbroken monitor just there." She pointed and I jumped from beneath the desk and ran over. I swarmed over it. Like a colony of ants. I like ants. They have honey pot ants in Australia. I liked them. I could do with one now actually. All that dust made my mouth very dry and nas-

"Finished!" I called out happily. A simple program here and there, little tweak… computers are easy.

"That was freakily quick but okay. I'll type in the search if you don't mind." She snatched the keyboard from my resisting hands before I could do anything. She typed something in and entered it before I could see what she typed. I raised my eyebrows at this. Molly is the friendliest, most open person in the history of lovely people. It is not like her to be secretive at all.

"Is it working? God damn you Alice, stop getting distracted!"

"Yeah sure. It's connected to whoever you're looking for. Just speak into…." I delved into my pockets and withdrew a very linty blue tooth ear piece. "Just pop it in."

"No no. Not for me. Johnny can do it."

"What?!?"

* * *

"Hello -answering machine. I hate these things.- this is Johnny Rote, Torchwood Four second in command and…" He stopped and looked at us two sheepishly. "How do I tell them we practically destr-" 

"_Practically what?"_

Johnny's face went into what can only be described as rabbit-caught-in-headlights-of-very-very-large-heavy-truck.

"Oh, it's not the answer machine! Sorry, er…."

"_Just tell me why Torchwood Four are in Cardiff. Your first-in-command should know that you are not meant to land in this area."_

"Well, that would be the problem. We didn't land as such. Our data currently shows that our building was… sucked into your facility. Through no fault of our own. And we will help with everything, I swear."

"_Help with what?"_

"Our building was even more damaged so just bear that in mind… okay, we were dragged into the Rift area and into the middle of your building. It's just a little bit… destroyed…"

* * *

"Well, that could have gone a lot better. You two gave me no help whatsoever." Johnny spat dejectedly. I giggled a little. 

Whoever Johnny had been talking to got understandably a little angry. They (the other Torchwood Unit) had been out chasing something called a weevil and so luckily had escaped our entrance. Some were coming back straight away to assess the damage and such.

Molly was still being a moody cow (HA moody cow… moo cow….moo with me!) so sent us up and through a door into a weird tourist shoppe to greet our new work colleges.

"Just give me a sec… I have to change from this." She tugged with her uninjured hand on her dirty tank top and dusty khaki shorts. "They're not used to Molly Neil, Torchwood leader and fighter. The girl who can get shot and pulls the bullet out and stitch it up herself. They're used to Miss Molly Neil. Secretary and language expert." She sighed, shaking her head a little. "I was very different before I joined this unit."

So I was sat on the desk and Johnny was leant against a wall. I was bored stiff. (ADHD… makes me very distracted and I loose interest in things oh so easily.)

"You know, that's bad for the copier." I said absent mindedly.

Johnny burst out laughing. "That makes no sense but…" He broke out laughing again.

I smiled and started looking around the desk a bit. Y'know, to see who worked here and what kind of person they were and oh wow a postcard wheelie holder….

"Eugh. Coffee. Hate the stuff." I wrinkled my nose as I pushed a cup of it away. "Very neat isn't it? You'd imagine that they have a maid… lordy lordy even the monopoly box is worse than this. Probably why we've lost half the pieces…we should have a monopoly night again sometime I love that game! Just the idea of a hat owning property- it's crazy! Oo wow! Fine liners!" I'd been opening drawers like mad and spotted a neat tray of fine liners. I LOVE fine liners and they won't let me have them as I ruin the tips.

I grabbed for them and in my haste I spilled them all over the floor. I sighed and dived down for them.

"Great… now my scrawny arse is sticking in the air! Lovely view for when they come in the door. It's like, 'Look at me! I belong to a gothic genius whose sole love in the world is fine liners! I'm very scrawny!'" I laughed to myself, whilst clutching handfuls of pens.

"Um.. Yeah. Alice you may want to resurface." Johnny wasn't laughing. Normally he laughed at my scrawny arse jokes. He sounded a little embarrassed.

"What? Is there someone there?"

"You could say that."

That was not Johnny's voice. It was laughing at me. I fell forwards, letting out a small squeal of surprise, landing onto my face on the carpet. Painfully.

Rubbing my sore and blushing cheeks, I meekly peeked my upper face above the desk to face the members from the other Torchwood.

Typical for me. I'm the one making a literal arse of themselves in front of strangers.

* * *

**A/N: Dedications to Ghostfish and Lokke, new story alerts. Love your support!**

**And Alice doesn't seem very gothic more geeky in this chapter... becuase it's from her view and she's a ADHD suffering sociopathic genius who has no sense of concentration. Lovely match for the himicidal intelligence of NG, who hopefully will return soon.**

**devildrummagirl**


	4. Chapter 4

That was … difficult.

For a full five minutes, Alice stayed under that damn tabletop. Her freckled forehead was a very bright tomato red and she just wouldn't stand up. I just felt my insides slip down and slowly roll away in a squelch ball bag of shame. Well, at least Molly has had time to change.

That was something strange. Molly bummed around. And now she was getting changed into Old Molly. Efficient Molly. Professional Molly. Two things that none of us were at Torchwood Four; efficiency and professional ness were things to be left at the door, thank you. Step in and leave anything like that behind. We did not work as such; we lazily meandered to a final solution in a mixture of squabbles, curse words and strokes of genius. These people looked the biz.

I'd only met Torchwood Three once before; five years ago when Molly and NG joined. So two of them I didn't know or have any idea about. I know I was shock to them; filthy vest top and shorts so encrusted with assorted grime and dirt that they could stand by themselves. The youngest guy looked a little peeved, as if our presence was making the place dirty. I guessed he worked up here.

"You can keep those pens by the way." Ahh… he's welsh. You can never tell. I silently wondered if they did shag sheep in Wales.

This, however, was enough to get Alice out her shell. She bounced up, blushes gone and beaming. "Oh thank you! You are a star!" She gave her widest smile, showing her slightly bucked teeth. This was a definite sign she was happy: Alice does not show her teeth to anyone.

And another shock to their systems: Alice in all her baggy black leather, fishnet and velvet glory. Today she was wearing a particularly stylish number from the costume department of Bride of Dracula. To see only her face, like they did, Alice looks like an albino geek. Now she looks like a horror movie extra.

After the briefest of brief introductions, and before Alice could explain to 'Tosh' about the incredibly heartbreakingly complex intricacies of our machinery, I dragged her off to show them what had happened to their building.

(He he. He he!! Have I told you before that I am not fond of Torchwood Three? Hah HAH!)

"Fine liners, fine liners, fine liners, fine liners… " Alice hummed, rolling the pens round in her mouth.

"You are insane. And that is disgusting!" I whispered. "They'll be staring at you! And if you draw all over your skin and won't come off again I'm not helping you!"

"I don't care…" She said childishly, chewing happily on a pen. "They gave me pens. They could be mad axe- wielding murderers for all I care."

We turned the corner into their wrecked, annihilated main room and I whispered to Alice, "They soon might become mad axe-wielding murderers."

Tosh, the little Oriental woman, just walked up to the chaos with a complete look of horror on her face.

"All my work… " She whispered. Then she turned on me, her eyes fierce. Before I knew it, she'd ran up to me and pummelled me into the wall with more force than I could have guessed.

"Someone help? Trying to rip out my heart here…" She was really pounding me, her fists hitting every inch of Jonathan Henry Rote they could find. Her colleges were not trying extraordinarily hard to stop her and Alice was running around, screaming at the top of her lungs like a headless chicken.

"I assure you that trying to kill Johnny is, whilst fun, is not going to help you. This situation, I'm afraid, is not his fault."

We all turned to the new voice, one I knew and loved. Molly. Wearing her pinstripe skirt-suit thing and a pair of glasses that I certainly never knew she had. Heels? I thought she only owned the clay-y, battered old hiking boots that she practically never took off.

Alice was staring too; Molly dressed up to the nines? Whoa. Forget bollock-eating aliens things, this is scary.

She smiled up at us, and pushed the glasses back into her hair. "I'm sorry but our building had a little crash landing in yo-"

"A little?" Tosh ran forwards, leaving me (Thankfully!) behind. "This is… is catastrophic! Over fifty years of work destroyed in one swoop!"

Molly smiled again. "What I was trying to tell you, is that I am offering my team's full co-operation in repairing this, as well as our building. If it's any consolation, you'll have three mechanical geniuses and our machinery is even more damaged than this."

"Has anyone seen a nipple? I think I'm missing one…" I joked bitterly, rubbing my chest.

"Oh shut up Johnny." Molly shot me a look, the look I would describe as: I'm-very-cross-at-you-but-whatever-you-make-laugh. "I suggest a meeting in the boardroom to asses damage and our plan of action. Firstly, Owen, can you stitch this up for me?" She waved her cut hand at one of the blokes behind me. He nodded and vaguely waved at her.

I watched his back darkly as he led her to another room.

* * *

I'd met Owen five years ago, at that incredibly fateful Torchwood meeting. I was being assigned to Torchwood Four and he was just getting hired. I sat on the autopsy table and held out my hand.

"About twelve stitches I reckon. C'mon, stitch it up."

"No anaesthetic?" He asked, dark eyes examining the wound carefully.

I shook my head, smiling slightly. "I had to sow up my little toe last year by myself in the middle of the Australian outback. You get very used to lack of medical supplies at Torchwood Four."

He shrugged. "Your choice but it is going to hurt."

I lifted my hand up higher. "I pulled a bullet out my leg before by myself. This'll be nothing."

It wasn't exactly nothing. The needled was cold and the thread burned. But Owen remained professional and ignored my winces of pain.

"So if you're out in the Australian outback, why are you in a very shiny suit? In fact, I believe this is the same suit you were wearing the first time I met you." He cut of the end of the thread and reached for the bandage.

"It's to show someone I'm okay. That I'm… not following in my father's footsteps."

"Your father?"

I wiggled a little as he wound the bandage. "Do you know Archie?"

"Archie? As in Torchwood Two Archie? Completely off his rockers, barmy, utterly bonkers Archie?"

"Yeah. That's him. You met him?"

"We've exchanged a few weird e-mails… so who needs to know you're not turning out like him?" He patted my hand gently and I slid down from the bench.

"Thanks for this. And you'll find out soon enough."

* * *

I sat in the new boardroom (Lovely new furnishings, very much improved from when I saw it last.) with Johnny next to me. He was smouldering silently, occasionally shooting evil glances towards Owen, who was sat on his other side.

Alice sat across from me, madly doodling on her skin, tongue sticking out slightly. She had completely zoned out of this, I knew she wouldn't be paying any attention to us. Toshiko sat next to her, asking avid questions about complex computer systems. Alice would nod or shake her head occasionally, not listening to her either.

The man introduced to me as 'Yanto' (I have no idea… where do people get these names from?) was handing out drinks. As if this was a natural occurrence. In Torchwood Four we were lucky if we even had one mug and if anyone was actually sticking to the rota.

He placed the last one next to me.

"There's no one else here. You should probably have that yourself-"

"What about her?"

He pointed to the doorway, and in it was stood in all her computerised humanity hating glory, NG. She grinned at us, strolling over and 'sitting' in the chair next to me. (She can't touch surfaces. She'd actually just floating in midair.)

"Hey… managed to get the reboot sorted. You managed to meet and greet the other people. Hi!" She waved at the three members of Torchwood Three. "I've forgotten your faces and hate you already!"

Johnny silently slapped his face in mortal agony. I cringed in my seat. Fan-bloody-tastic. And there's a drink in her place. Oh dear Lord.

She noticed that next. She stared in horror at it, eyes wide. She reached out her face as close as could, examining it. Then very calmly leant back, cracking her knuckles menacingly.

"Is this a drink? For me?" Her voice was very low and every syllable shook with anger.

"NG please just calm down-"

"I AM A HOLOGRAM!" She jumped up screaming, fists raised. She floated like a malicious spirit in midair, while I tried to look as though I was not there, by sliding down my chair. "I CANNOT DRINK! DO YOU KNOW HOW OFFENSIVE THIS IS TO ME? SO WHICH _DILLHOLE _DID THIS??" She slowly sank back into her chair, chest heaving with effort.

"If you didn't want it then you only had to say." 'Yanto' just very calmly picked up the offending cup and took it away. NG stared after him in impressed silence.

"Well, no one's ever responded quite like that before." She told me, nodding her flashing head approvingly.

* * *

**A/N:** **First, dedications. Raddish-earrings and jewlz-sheridan, thanks for the alerts. Outlaw of Sherwood and Ghostfish, thank you for reviews. They make me smile **

**Secondly, an apology. This is the worst chapter yet. But the best of five failed drafts I must say. There was one with the scene in the tourist shop but it wasn't working. And the bit with Owen is a little flat I know, but NG's return must go down in some history book... I love her but must use her sparingly as her hatred for all humans makes her a pretty bad character to have in an emotional scene for example.**

**(Can you imagine 'I love you?'... 'So what, you shall both die soon as you are weak humans?')**

**And do the TW4 poll on my site... it'll make me happy **

**devildrummagirl**


	5. Chapter 5

So… urgent disaster back at the Hub. Gwen Cooper had been forced back to what she presumed had to be something trivial. Something like a blackout. Something not worth leaving the weevil behind, but orders were orders, and as Jack had joked, perhaps they just couldn't cope without her.

That was then and now, as she stood in what had been her workplace, she understood. There was _nothing _left standing. The desks lay torn in pieces, the precious computer machinery laying there sadly with their electronically insides showing forlornly to the air. The single thing left whole was a small cuddly mouse that she couldn't remember. At all.

And in the centre of the Hub was a ramshackle little hut-like building. It was made of crumbling bricks, random planks of blackening wood nailed haphazardly over the walls. Daubs of clay were smattered irregularly and it was covered in a fine film of bright orange sand. A very cheery looking red door stuck out like a sore thumb. It even had a brass letterbox, albeit it was nailed on wonkily.

It suddenly slammed open, making Gwen jump backwards in surprise.

A tiny girl ran out. She was small with round rosy cheeks and a beautiful cascade of golden hair. She wore a simple light blue dress, fixed at the back with old fashioned eye hooks. She wore no shoes on her small, pink feet.

She turned to Gwen, and the woman found herself staring into large, round eyes, rimmed with thick dark lashes. They were strange eyes; one was blue, the other a vivid green. They seemed to bore down into her mind, fixing her to the spot. She felt her mind go blank, a comforting white mist slowly fill the inside of her head…

Then, breaking the spell, the girl hissed. In her small mouth, large sharp fangs suddenly shot into sight with a _crack! _noise. She snarled at Gwen then lunged at her. Gwen screamed loudly, but the child ran straight past her.

Except it wasn't a child anymore. The outline of her body glowed blue and with another _crack! _her body dissolved and vanished in midair, leaving behind a small white rabbit that hopped fiercely away and hid.

She stood for a second or two in stunned silence. She had never seen anything like that. Then Owen burst through the door, carrying what looked like a large cat cage. His face had three livid red scratches down it, and his arms were a literal map of raised red lines. His face was thunderous.

"Gwen, have you seen an evil little girl run through here?" He hissed, shaking the cage.

"Yeah, she ran down there but I should warn you from the evil fluffy white rabbit." Then she collapsed into giggles. "What is it? Did it come with this?" She pointed at the hut with a shaking finger, still laughing.

"That is the remains of Torchwood Four. And that 'fluffy white rabbit' is a self mutating life-form they have as a pet. They asked me to put it in this cage. 'Keep the poor thing safe, it's probably scared out of it's wits'. So I pick up this gerbil they point out and suddenly it turns into a very angry, very big lion." He shook the cage menacingly as he passed her. "I am going to catch it and then I am going to get myself a self-mutating rug for my sitting room. When you go in there, talk to Molly she'll tell you what to do. We have to help clean up what's left of their stuff before they'll move out here."

* * *

There was no mistaking it. This room was definitely larger than the outside. The room inside was huge, yet small enough to be cosy. Seven doors led away from the main room; they were crooked and worn. She came forwards, treading on a thick layer of debris made of glass, bits of electric machinery and glass. The only thing left half standing was a giant black monitor, fallen next to a mixture of large boxes and complex joints and pistons. She came further into the room, noticing a small alcove next to the door she had come through. A hammock was hung from the walls of it, an old fashioned one made of rope netting. Sat in it was a teenage girl, silently swinging whilst reading a magazine. 

Except it wasn't quite right. The girl was swinging, but the hammock wasn't. Gwen edged closer and saw the girl swing silently right through the boundaries of the hammock. There was an electrical crackle and the girl's entire body flickered, just for a second. She turned a page of her magazine idly.

"I know you're there. Stop staring at me thanks, I don't appreciate it." The voice was strange, clipped and oddly mechanical. She slapped her hands together and what she had been reading vanished.

She had a slightly round face that was almost pretty, except for the very cold and calculated expression on her face. She had short, wavy black hair that was squared at the edges, each tiny box a slightly different shade. Her eyes were something else. They were empty, no life, no light to them. Empty black holes in her sockets, a faint green blur speeding across where her pupils should be.

She gave a cold smile. "You've never seen one up close before have you? It's always a surprise to those who haven't." She gave a very dry laugh and the magazine reappeared. She fanned it out and raised it again. "Can you go please? I'm still the middle of a very important reboot and it's wasting my energy to talk to you. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye..."

"Okay…" Gwen stepped back and turned away, back to the centre of the room.

Close to the large boxes and pistons, Tosh was knelt, looking over what looked like incredibly complex blueprints. She was talking to another teenage girl. This one, however, looked up at Gwen and waved at her, smiling.

She was very pale, with blonde hair so fair it was almost white. Her eyebrows were almost unnoticeable, along with her eyelashes. But that was were the whiteness to her ended. The rest of her skinny, gangly frame was clad in black; a strange velvet corseted top and a voluminous black leather skirt. Her image wasn't helped by the massive quantities of white dust that practically covered her from tip to toe.

She was still waving, but her pale blue eyes glazed over slightly and she turned back to Tosh, pointing something out on the blueprints.

Gwen walked past them, reaching the big black monitor. The remains of a circular wooden desk lay strewn everywhere.

"I suppose that'll work but you haven't tried it and if it doesn't work, I'll personally nailyou to the wooden plaque." A door to the left of Gwen opened and a young woman strode out towards her, holding out her hand.

"Gwen Cooper I'm guessing? Molly Neil." Gwen shook her hand and Molly beamed. "We need all the help you can give us, this place has been uttered destroyed. "

She was fairly tall and thin, with long bright red hair and smiling green eyes. She had a small amount of light freckles over her nose and cheeks, which were round and fairly pretty. She wore a faded blue shirt and a rather smart pinstripe skirt. She wore a pair of rather smart black heels that seemed utterly unsuitable for the building she was supposed to work at.

"I'm glad to help. Jack told me I should get here right away and lend a hand." Molly gave a small but unmistakeable grimace at the mention of Jack's name. But she shook her magnificent hair back and gave a wide smile.

"Johnny is going to bring in the force-field locking system he's been working on to move things in here, Alice and Tosh are going to be fixing the wiring and stuff, NG is 'rebooting' before being plugged into your systems to detect Rift activity, Owen is catching the emo-hawk (really glad that's not me) so… that leaves us two cleaning the other rooms. We should leave Alice's room… actually, fuck it, switch to unprofessional can we start with mine?"

"You sleep here?"

"Live here. Part and parcel, the whole Torchwood Four gig. Phenomenal technical power, itty bitty living space. We can't leave here so we get given our own rooms and we have a kitchen-living room thing over there. Sucks but you get used to it after a while."

* * *

The room was tiny and dark; a single swinging light providing a weak yellow light. The room was full of bits and odd ends of furniture which hadn't helped and now the small space looked like a complete and utter bombsite. Molly walked in slowly, shoes crunching on pieces of broken glass. She sadly patted what had been a rather nice looking four poster bed, but now resembled a large pile of kindling. 

"It tookmy father years to save up for this." She sighed and patted it again. "I'll have to get Johnny and his dodgy DIY onto this. And Christ…." She bent and picked up a smashed photo frame. It was large and ornate, with silver plating. It showed a tiny red-haired girl (Molly herself Gwen presumed) with a red haired woman.

She was very clearly Molly's mother. Molly had been made from the same mould, so to speak, but she had tiny flaws from what had been the 'original' pattern. Her mother looked as perfect as a human being could get. Fair skin, powerful green eyes, wide lipsticked mouth. Her neck was thin and swanlike, her hands tapered and elegant. She was exceptionally tall, Gwen noted, taller than most men if she was judging it correctly. And only wearing flats! She stood next to the childhood Molly with a less-than maternal look upon her face. But the tiny girl hadn't noticed and stayed grinning with gapped teeth at whomever had taken this photo.

"This your mother?" Molly gave a small nod, brushing broken glass away from the photo. "She's very pretty; you look just like her."

Molly gave a small snort, and placed the frame very carefully on what was left of her bed. "Everyone says so. Anywhere I go, everyone's 'Aren't you Amélie's daughter?'…. Strange that they never remember my father. And then they go on about how sorry they are, which gets annoying."

"Sorry? About what?"

"My mother died when I was 12." Molly dusted her hands of imaginary dirt and brushed her hair back. "I think we should leave it in here; it's a bit weird to make you clean my room. We should go to the kitchen bit, we're going to need to know if I'll have to buy more mugs." Her voice grew steadily faster throughout the sentence and when she finished she almost ran from the room.

Gwen shot the broken photo one last look then made for the door herself. She carefully trod over a box of photographs that had spilled from the overturned wardrobe. This girl was all about the 'happy' memories… one caught her eye. Bending down, she pulled a old Polaroid from the haphazardly formed stack.

The same two people; the tiny child and her tall mother. But Molly was older, around ten and staring daggers at her mother. Her mother was sat next to a man with thick Jarvis Cocker spectacles and with Molly's hair colour. And her nose; this must be her father. He grinned stupidly at the camera, looking as if he was the luckiest man in the world. (Which he probably was, considering his wife.) His wife, however, was staring at the last person in the photo, who was perched uncomfortably at the end of the table and looked like he'd been dragged into the photo.

It was Jack. Undeniably, unmistakeably.

Gwen stared at it for a second, then quickly slid it into her pocket. She would ask about it later. This felt… strange.

Why did she flinch when she mentioned him, yet have photos of him?

* * *

**A/N: This is before Owen dying, just to clarify.**

**Dedications: Thanks to the manager of the C2 Magical Kingdom for adding this humble story, godborn and stranger12 for adding this to your favourites, sneggz and xBeckiBoopx for adding this to alerts and godborn and Outlaw of Sherwood for lovely reviews!**

**And yes, an actully serious chapter- quelle horror! Believe it or not I have an actual storyline, involving Molly's French mother and everyone's favourite Captain who cannot really control himself... **

**Yeah...**

**REVIEW YA BIOTCHES! This is one story I am determined to finnish, so if you don't I won't!**


	6. Chapter 6

Stupid, stupid. I leant against the door of our kitchen/living room, heart pounding. I'd done it again; let the controlling spectre that was mymemories of my mother creep into my mind. I just needed to forget her. Just clear my mind is all I need to do. Breathe in and out. In and out….

I stepped away from the door, in the middle of my breathing exercises and surveyed the room. More organised chaos. The TV had fallen from the wall and lay broken over the upturned back of the sofa. Our small DVD collection lay scattered over the floor but mercifully intact. Red hotels and green houses scattered the floor, and the Twister spinner needed some serious TLC. The kitchen was overturned; Alice's precious Edward Scissorhands mug lay in pieces. The old chipped plates had spilled from our single cupboard and our exceedingly battered pine table lay with its legs facing the ceiling, one missing.

The door opened behind me. "This is going to take a bit more work…" Gwen's voice both cheered me and annoyed me; I was really not having a good day today. 

"Yeah.. We should start over here." I pointed at our filthy little gas oven which had landed on its side. "We're gonna need all this if we're going to be here for any length of time."

-0-1-10-11-100-101-110-111-1000-1001-1010-10100-11001-11110-101000-1100100-111110100-

What may have been sharp pains ran through my body. But I am not on hard light, so I cannot feel pain, except electrical impulses. Or do anything really. Except access radio waves which gets boring after about five minutes. And I've been in electrical existence for over 3 million years…. Being a hologram is not really what it's cracked up to be. Not that it's cracked up to be anything on this stupid planet; they haven't developed them yet, so no one outside bloody Torchwood can understand me. Stupid humans.

And yeah, I guess I am 'human' really. But that part of me died along time ago when my people did. And the humans did it. They watched as others sent people to gut my people. Jealous of what we had. And now I'm trapped on this God-forsaken planet, with it's stupid people and lack of average technology. 

The reboot was difficult. I have to download their entire computer system. And do their jobs for a couple of days until we've fixed it for them. And of course, I was volunteered before I could say anything. Not that they'd listen to me; I am enslaved to them for the moment. Until I am called back and then I'll be zooming off, laughing and sticking my fingers out the window at them.

A hot, itching spread behind my eyes. I fidgeted for a second, then realised it was Their equipment detecting something. Great. First night of this and something happens. What is it? I concentrated deeply, flashing whirling images zooming past my eyeballs. Some weird alien was running around somewhere in this stupid wet city. Fan-fucking-dabi-dosi.

"Hello, there's like a pig alien running around somewhere… guessing we should do something about it…" I screamed at the top of my voice, rising from my hammock and lazily floating through the main control room. Alice and … the woman… (Do you expect me to recognise everyone? I only put effort into knowing people if I like them. Or don't.) jumped up and within seconds Molly and the other woman came running out. Then the not-funny-emo-hawk-scratching-board man came running in with the COFFEE DUDE! 

(I like him. He gets the Hologram seal of approval.)

I lazily floated above them as they started discussing options or something, with Alice running around making various violent suggestions with appropriate hand gestures. 

Then Johnny came in, casually wiping his hands wish an old cloth. "I've just used the force field locking system to move the jeep up and out. C'mon I'll drive. I won't crash, I promise."

It took them ages to catch up with me, as I simply floating up and out to the jeep. I sat glumly in the back and wondered what methods it would take to kill Johnny as slowly and painfully as possible.

-0-1-10-11-100-101-110-111-1000-1001-1010-10100-11001-11110-101000-1100100-111110100-

Maybe it wasn't a good idea to take them to our jeep. Johnny may love it, and I think it's amazing, but Molly hates it and NG thinks it's disgusting and dirty. Which it is, truth be told. Water's a valuable commodity in the desert and you can't really waste it on cleaning the car. The jeep was a lovely green colour. Now it's more a sandy brown, with flecks of bright orange mud all over.

The insides no better; one proper seat which is Johnny's. (He always gets the best for himself.) A small but comfy one for Molly as she hates the thing, or more accurately, Johnny's driving. One small metal box for me, and the burst tyre on the back for NG as Johnny can't stand her.

I jumped in it, happily clipping on my far too large seatbelt. Johnny followed, jumping into his seat and lovingly patting the steering wheel. He loves this thing too much. NG was already there and sat dejectedly at the back, muttering various murderous comments. 

Molly looked at the car with loathing and slowly settled herself in her seat, belting her self in as tightly as possible and gripping the metal bar above her head so hard her knuckles turned white. 

"Just a car ride. It's just a car ride. Driven by Johnny who you trust. And who has never passed a driving test." She murmured to herself, keeping her eyes shut. 

The other team just stared at us. And the jeep. Johnny turned the ignition and it spluttered into life with a small pop and a lot of smoke. The black haired woman who had arrived last slowly came up to the jeep and got in. She sat on the old tyre that was laid next to the driving seat.

"So this is the Torchwood Four jeep then…."

"You don't have to be nice. I hate this thing." Molly growled, not bothering to open her eyes.

"HEY! She'll hear you!" Snapped Johnny, reverently rubbing the dusty dashboard. "Shush, shush. Ignore the nasty women…"

NG burst out laughing. I joined in, and the other three Torchwood members grudgingly got in with us, occasionally giving a gasp of surprise as they sat on something nasty like a oil spill or a mouldy piece of food. 

Pen-Man (nne-ne-ne-ne-nyah) didn't look especially happily as he sat down. He looked about as happy as Molly, who had gone slightly green and whose forehead was covered in sweat. I gave him a wide grin.

"Youse'll enjoy this. There's nothing wrong with this jeep."

The gearbox gave a nasty series of crunchy clanks before settling into place. Johnny whistled tunelessly to himself with a dog end being carefully behind one ear (I have NO idea where he gets them and he says he can't concentrate without it. Says he gets it from his ole gaffer, which I presume is some sort of builder type person.) , spun the wheel nosily and shot forwards at about seventy miles per hour. 

Everyone fell backwards apart from me, and I bounced upwards into the air before landing painfully on my bony arse. The thin strip of plastic I had tied around my waist worked well as a seatbelt, except at any sudden move (I.e. any move.) it caused me to be fired up into the air. I found it hilarious fun; it gave Molly vertigo to watch me bounce up and down.

She looked awfully ill now, as Johnny twisted and turned unnecessarily through the wet streets (we even did a full body spin, which made me stay in the air for a WHOLE minute). He was perfectly happy; the ancient radio popped and squeaked as he tried to tune it, singing along softly. NG sat miserably in the back, carefully watching Molly with hawk eyes.

"STOP!" She suddenly bellowed and the brakes squealed in protest as Johnny slammed on them. The whole jeep tipped forwards slightly and now we all slid forwards.

Molly had turned a very vivid green now and was shaking all over. NG picked her way over us, scowling.

"I'm taking Molly back _now_." She hissed in a voice that told me that the argument, if any, was well and truly over. 

Molly got out shaking and stood miserably on the pavement.

"C'est ça autour de lui?" NG asked her, in a voice that had emotion which is a first for her. Johnny stared at her in amazement.

"Am I not included in this?" He asked, voice rising. Molly shook her head dejectedly. NG shot him a slightly smug glare as she stood next to Molly.

"Fine." He growled and began to manoeuvre the gearbox into clanky crunchy third gear. Before I could get out we'd shot off again, leaving them walking alone in the rain.

* * *

I wrapped my arms around my shaking chest, trying to fight the nausea that was rising in my stomach. "You shouldn't have done that. Now I seem really-"

"Oh fuck them that's what I say. You look like shit and you'd be worse if you'd stayed." NG had no time to say anything but the truth. I'd known her since I was a little girl and she had always been frank and straight-forward, even if it hurt others. If she said I looked bad then I must look awful.

"Yeah… a mixture of bad landings and Johnny's driving." I tried to joke, but NG's face remained impassive, one eyebrow raising. 

"You can't fuck around the bush with me Molls. I know exactly why you're sick. And in my opinion, the sooner you face up to this, the better. I mean-" She cursed silently as her foot went into a puddle, causing it to crackle loudly. "-How long have you been living under Amélie's shadow? _Technically twenty six years _but six years. Ever since Lord knows why you thought to yourself one day, 'Oh wow I'll get a job in the organisation which drove my father to drink and insanity and got my mother shot! Wahoo!'" She jumped into the street and started dancing, waving her arms around her body and kicking her legs, all the time screaming 'Wahoo' at the top of her voice. 

Only she was allowed to do something like this. She was like an horribly tart but amazingly mad great Aunt. She knew all about this whole miserable story and the only I would talk about it with. Not my father who would clam up. Not Alice, who I loved like a very annoying sister, who wouldn't understand and start screaming about eternal hellfire. Not even Johnny, who would frown and not get why it wound me up. So instead I confide in an untrustworthy, bitter piece of technology. 

I should hire her out to a teenage magazine as an agony aunt. ('_Dear NG, I really like this guy but I'm afraid to ask him out in case he laughs. What should do?' _Dear annoying human girl, fucking grow some before I come and electrocute you.)

"Yeah well, I guess I should take the advice. And grow some."

"Exactly. Cos if you click your heels together, you won't get taken Home. You have to face up to it. And if you get really, _really _pissed off-" Her face took on a maniacal smile and her eyes glowed with cruel malice. "We can always get Alice to dig out her flamethrower again!"

I remembered that thing. Alice had built it herself and the first time she tested it fired with such power that she was thrown backwards through three walls as it melted a massive hole in one. She grinned broadly despite being turned black from head to toe and getting her eyebrows burnt off and half her hair severely singed. It looked like she had goggles on for weeks and I'd forbidden the use of it. 

"No."

"We could melt him into tiny molten pieces…. I've always wondered what would happen to a human being if you melted them. A great big swirl of brown and red I guess. Like really creepy ice cream… please?"

"No!"

"Suit yourself." She huffed, running forwards and flickering oddly in the lamplight.

* * *

I had a very nice lie down as soon as I got back. Johnny's bunk in the garage is screwed to the walls, so I went and laid on that, calming myself down. NG went tinkering around, grumbling to herself and making various noises. I slowly drifted to sleep, strange violent dreams involving my mother and burned rice filled my head.

A sharp electric shock suddenly shot up the nerves of my arm. I woke with a jolt, screaming incoherently, and found NG hovering next to me, fingers carefully pressing into my arm. 

"What? Let go of me…" I muttered sleepily, pulling my arm away. 

"They're back!" Concern radiated from her pixellated features, an alien emotion to her. "He's here!"

* * *

**A/N: Dedications to Lutherian for adding this to faves and reviewing, and Outlaw of Sherwood for reviewing.**

**Slow start I know before getting to what I hope is a relatively juicy cliff-hanger at the end. And a ton of hints and tidbits and Molly and NG's past!**

**Lovelove for all reviewers. Reviews are my food!**


	7. Chapter 7

Of all the things that could and should have happened… nothing _did_.

If I were fully alive and capable of the gift of touch, I would have rightly hurt him in various ways as he ran over to me and said 'Molly! It's been too long. Geez, you look so grown up now; leading your own Torchwood Unit eh? C'mon, I think I deserve a hug…"

But no, I'm just made of a complex variance of electrical data and light particles and no one cares much about me anyway. Molly, the damn fool of a human, just put on this sickly sweet little smile and hugged him, acting like this was the greatest treat ever given to a human being.

Humans…. They are just innately _insane. _I mean, you just have to look how screwed up I am to judge that. And Alice…. She is just in another class. One of her own. She is completely loco; wouldn't surprise me if she spent the rest of her life in Bedlam. Or a stationary shop, it's hard to tell with some lunatics.

"NG, I thought you said there'd be fireworks. This isn't even a tap works!" Alice slunk next to me, her thin hair forming walls of damp hair around her face.

"Not my fault if Molly decides that not spiking testicles on her heels is the path of righteousness- shhh, they're coming over, act natural!"

"So I find that I am able to express myself through interpretive dance…" Alice frowned and tugged at her ear lobe which is her signal that she is lying like a mother bitch.

"Hmmm yeah, I care about what you're saying… oh! I didn't see you two coming over here! I thought you'd be off reminiscing or whatever the fuck you humans do what you haven't seen each other in years. Have affairs probably."

Molly's eyes flashed with anger but give me the knife and I'll dig dig dig with it.

But the person whom the dig was aimed did not appear to notice it.

"NG… nice to see you're still as hate filled as ever."

"Ahh Jack, you know I don't discriminate. I hate everybody."

The humanly-handsome Captain Jack Harkness grinned at me. Considering how much Molly hates him, he's one of the few humans I've ever liked. There's perfection in symmetry; him the never dying, me the never really alive. He was the first person at Torchwood who recognised me as a hologram, stopped them experimenting on me, got me out the cage they kept me in. But that doesn't mean I have to be nice to him.

"And Molly's just told me about you, Alice. Captain Jack Harkness." He turned to Alice, shaking her hand and leaving her in a state of shock, her mouth gaping open like a fish. Then she giggled and covered her face with her hands coquettishly. Not that she knows what that is.

I shook my head and floated away. I'm not in the mood to deal with humans at the moment; this reboot is taking it out of me and there is far too much information stored on the TW3 hard drive for me to install safely in one go.

I dropped through the floor, simply for the sake of doing so.

* * *

There was someone else in the room. Jack could sense someone- watching, waiting. How they managed to hide in here was a mystery, and without making- aha. That was it.

"NG?"

The girl's head shot out of the opposite wall. She gave a snort. "That took longer than I expected. You're losing your touch in old age if you ask me." A foot appeared at the bottom of the wall and distorting slightly, she stepped out and settled haphazardly in the air. "Y'know if you was to ask me again, I'd say this room is just about the right size for two persons."

"Excuse me?"

"Just things I've been picking up. And not that I count exactly as a person-"

"You've been scanning the Torchwood 3 CCTV haven't you?"

"Moi?" NG's jaw dropped in indignation and she placed a hand on her chest. Then burst into cruel giggles. "Of course! Aye mate aye! You know me so well!" Still laughing, she casually floated over and sat next to Jack on the small bed. "Ahh good times… good times. Have you told Molly yet or will I get to see you beaten up in the near future?"

"Tell Molly about what?"

"Don't fuck around with me; it's difficult to lie to me, I see right through it…" She raised a pale finger and lifted it to Jack's forehead. She slowly pushed her finger towards his skin. "I can see right in here. You humans forget that your body communicates with electrical impulses. They are incredibly easy to read and right now I'm picking up that you never plan to tell Molly anything, but act like you still care about poor old Amélie…" She gave a malicious smile. "But I was never one for secrets as such. "

"I know that very well. What do you want?" Jack snarled. The hologram's smile dropped.

"I want a lot of things that I shall never have. But none of them concern this. I just felt like making the situation more difficult. I know you and you know me and all that. And I know Molly and I knew Amélie but!" She waved her hand to emphasise the point. "I do not know your young man and I doubt that he really knows you… forgive me, but you never tell anyone anything if they perhaps to find out from another source-"

"What are you planning?" Jack lunged at the hologram in anger but his hands simply passed through her image, rippling it as if she were water. His hands hit the wall and NG stared at the hands in her chest in idle surprise.

"This is almost a hug… I never knew you liked me Jack. The thing is, I like you and I like your coffee dude but I like Molly better. I don't have a definitive plan as of now but is Amélie's body still here?"

He pulled his arms back and looked away. NG gave a triumphant cackle.

"Like a book, that's what human emotions are. I knew Archie tried to get her body brung up to Torchwood Two but I didn't know if you'd let it. And now I know she's still here… it'll be so easy to find her. I suspect your fancy man knows which tray's which. I just have to convince Molly to want to see her."

The words remained in the air for a second as Jack digested them.

"Why?" Was all he could muster. He had known NG for so long, coped with all her bitterness and hatred, yet could not fathom why she would want to this.

And to no surprise she shrugged. NG rarely had reasons for anything; her computer brain was damaged to the point of illogicity, which was basically insanity for a hologram. A working hologram worked on the basis of logic and the solidity of numbers. NG had no logic, only the numbers. Being stuck underground for three million years with only the numbers had driven her insane with bitterness and hatred for the human race. Thirsty for revenge; a revenge which couldn't happen for yet more millions of years.

She was from his time and hadn't coped well with the change.

"I'm just making this a project of mine. I mean, you screwed up both Molly and Archie's lives so you could screw Amélie and I just want to know why if she meant so much to you, that you don't mention her ever. Ever. Ever. And-" She rose upwards slowing revolving towards the ceiling, her voice dropping to a low whisper, "-I want to know if he'll realise that he'll end up exactly the same way."

* * *

**A/N: Dedications this week are to one person. The great ROBERT SMITH who I saw at Wembley this Thursday and who is my God. **

**(There may be a few more weeks of that, just to warn you. The man is a legend.)**

**And yeah, before anyone complains, NG is a total and complete bitch. Who I imagine with a Southern accent strangely. (Southen States of America, that is.)**

**But you have to understand that A) She hates humanity with a passion, and B) Molly, Amelie and Archie were the susbstitute for the family she lost. She sees Amelie and Jack as destroying that, which is why she told Archie what was going on. And why she wants to tell Ianto about all aspects of Jack's past that she knows...**

**If you want to know her backstory, PM me with your email and I'll email it cos it's not really part of the main plot which is a messy mix of Molly/Jack/Ianto/Alice's pens/NG's computer senility. **

**In Pourtugal for three days when I doubt I can spell it, **

**Jess**

**PS, not enough reviews, no more story for a while! I am just that mean...**


	8. Chapter 8

_All he'd been told was to find the girl with fiery red hair. The tall girl. He had now been stood outside the shabby motel for hours, in the pouring grey rain. No name, no details._

_"Anyone might intercept the messages." The woman from UNIT had snootily informed them. "It's bad enough that you're taking her, but she is simply one of the best agents around and we don't want just anyone to find her. You'll know her when you see her. There's none like FF."_

_FF. The 'code name'. That and her description was all he had to go on. And the warning not to surprise her, because it would go badly for him._

_A click-click-click caught his attention up the wet Parisian street. That HAD to be her-_

_And she was **tall. **The girl stood at least a foot higher than the other solitary loiterer upon the street. She strode down the street, heels clicking. They barely added to her height, being barely more than a few inches._

_Her long legs strode elegantly underneath a long, smartly cut black coat. A typically French item. A white scarf was wrapped around her head, hiding her hair from view. Large sunglasses kept her eyes from view, as well as the top half of her face. It was impossible to tell if this was 'FF' or another unfortunate French girl… he reached out a hand and tapped her shoulder._

_The response was a little unexpected. The girl jumped and saw him, hidden in the shadows, and shot out an arm. With unexpected strength, she grabbed his arm and pulled him forwards, head-butting him in the centre of his forehead. His world went black, and she pulled his arm into a painful full Nelson, shoving his arm right into the small of his back._

_She then pushed him face first into the ground, pinning his arm down with one foot, the heel biting painfully into the skin of his wrist. Her now free hands quickly ran over his body, and found what they were looking for - his Webley. She pulled it free._

_One pale skinned, red leather encased foot pushed his head sideways, roughly._

_A sudden sharp pain pin-pointed itself on his exposed temple. Looking out the corner of his eye, he saw that she had one of her very sharp heels balanced delicately on his temple._

_"Make one false move, and I shall pierce my heel through your skull." She spoke perfect English, tinged by a heavy French accent. Two clinks told him she was unloading his gun._

_"Why not just use the gun you took from me and shoot me instead?" He joked, which resulted in the heel being embedded further into his temple._

_"Cherrie… why use this old thing when I have my own weapon? And any more of the clever talk and I shall not only kill you, I shall kill you slowly. Starting with your genitals."_

_"Woah-"_

_"Don't believe me? Fine." A flurry of movement, a gunshot then a horrible burning pain._

_She had actually done it. He cried out in agony and she gave a tinkly laugh._

_"See, I do not lie mon cherrie! Now, tell me who you are!" The pin prick of pain intensified on his temple, and a tiny drop of blood ran down the side of his face. "Tell me!"_

_"Captain Jack Harkness. Torchwood."_

_"Do not lie to me!" The girl shrieked, but her foot moved. "They told me-"_

_"Verification code-"_

_"Merde! Merde! Merde!" The foot was lifted, the gun put away and now she was helping him up as carefully as she could._

_The white scarf had fallen away, as had the sunglasses revealing a pale faced girl of perhaps nineteen. Her green eyes were large and rimmed with thick, dark lashes. Her lips were full and wide, lightly coloured with a dark red lipstick. She wore no makeup apart from that. Thick, slightly curled tresses of bright red hair hung around her face._

_She was beautiful. Almost perfect . And swearing incoherently in French. Jack looked at her for a few seconds, taking in the slender figure and round waist before stopping her._

_"Look, it's alright. Honestly-"_

_"How can it be?" She screamed, hysterical. "I've just mutilated one of my new colleagues! " Then she lapsed into fast and fluid French, making Jack wish he'd learnt foreign languages. Especially French._

_"It'll be fine. I'll get over it. Now shut up for a second." Jack said quietly, aware that they were attracting quite a scene- the old lady with the rollers in a flat opposite was already peering down in keen interest._

_But she didn't, her voice getting louder and more high pitched and frantic, until Jack put a hand over her mouth and forcibly quietened her._

_Her lips were soft. Her eyes looked at him miserably, silently apologising. They were a dark shade of green, and very large._

_"Another Torchwood agent shall be picking us up in a minute. Just keep quiet until then, okay?"_

_She nodded, silently. He slowly released her mouth (touching those soft lips for as long as possible) and she bent down to pick up her sunglasses._

_On cue, a black car quietly drew up._

_Archie Neil stuck his head out the window. Stick thin, clumsy, and with a shock of carrot coloured hair, he was the stereotypical geek. Being unlucky with the ladies fell into that. But tonight that seemed to change._

_The girl smiled for the first time when she saw him, a rich, sensual smile that sent the Scottish Archie bright red._

_"You, er, 'FF' then?" He asked brightly._

_"Exactement monsieur. But you can call me Amélie." She stuck out one hand, an elegant hand in a dainty white glove. Archie shook it nervously and she gave her tinkly laugh again. "No silly! You are supposed to kiss it when you meet a lady. But I forgive you this once, cherrie." She opened the front passenger door and gently got in._

_"I'm afraid Captain Jack Harkness that I shall have to sit with this dear gentlemen. You can sit in the back."_

_She smiled again, and shut the car door rather forcefully._

_Well, at least he knew now why he shouldn't surprise her._

* * *

Jack woke with a shock.

It'd been a long time since he'd thought of that night in the rain.

Damn hologram. She always knew how to twist people.

* * *

****

A/N: Dedications follow last weeks pattern… Sorry, but I am in love with Robert Smith at the moment.

This is just a little filler chapter really. A little flashback. Just how Amélie came to Torchwood, and how she met her future husband and Jack.

Thankies to everyone and keep reading


	9. Chapter 9

The strangest feelings you can have as an adult is when you're trapped in a place where you grew up. With someone who you grew up with. Like having to move out to your great aunt's.

Life at Torchwood is like that. I've been here all my life, been with these people since I was yay high and running around with no vest on. Yvonne? I remember her as a trainee. Canary Wharf? I was at Torchwood One when it was just some back warehouse! Jack? … Well, he's like some disgusting lechery uncle whom I completely and utterly detest.

I first met Jack when I was three years old and he hasn't changed one single bit. I never thought about it when I was a child; if weevils could exist (or Pig People, as I called them), then why not a man who couldn't age? I liked him when I was a child; men like that are always good with small children. It's like flies with honey, just _smack_! He kept me entertained during the week, stopped me from destroying things with boredom.  
My family had a system. As my mother worked at Torchwood Three whilst my father worked up in Edinburgh, childcare was split between the two cities. One week with my dad, one with my mother. Weekends were spent in Scotland. It was nowhere near perfect, but I presumed nothing could be done about it.

(HA HA. HA HA. I was entirely innocent then.)

Schooling was exclusively Torchwood based; I had appointed tutors. It was too great a risk for a talkative six year old to be placed in Welsh and Scottish schools; I would talk and connections would be made.

I always preferred being in Edinburgh; the offices were light and airy. The parent there liked me.

I loved my father, back then, when we were a family. NG was there, a moody older sister figure who I nevertheless managed to get along with. She was very difficult and hated everyone apart from me. She told me once, just once, that she had a little sister who had been very much like me. It was the only time I had managed to get anything about her history from her and I suspect it shall be the last: I asked her about her, and NG said her name was Joanna, and she had been very pretty.

The silly child I was, I ignored the fact that she was obviously upset about this. I asked her if she had a name, what was hers? NG went very quiet, then screamed that she couldn't remember.

She was so angry, and wept solidly for a day, curled on the floor, hands on her ears. She screamed in ultra sonic radio waves, and gave us headaches and destroyed most of the digital files on the Torchwood Two server.

At Cardiff, there was no NG, no light, no fun. My mother was always frosty towards me, like she just viewed me as a thing. She never knew how to talk to me, always preferring the company of adults. Whenever I attempted conversation, she would answer, then the conversation would slow down to a halt. She would look at me as if she wanted to say something, then leave me behind to talk to Jack.

I never understood it, but I accepted it grudgingly, like a grandmother's whiskery kisses and a dog who growls at everything.

There was one time we connected, just before she died when I was twelve. My parents had just split up, my parents spending their last weekend screaming at each other from across the living room, various items of furniture flying through the air. I had no idea what it was about, having spent the two days under my bed with my fingers in my ears.

I had to stay permanently at Cardiff with my mother, who in some bizarre maternal surge, had grabbed my hand and stormed out of our Scottish home. I have to say I didn't complain about it, her having bribed me with a brand new bike as soon as I got to Cardiff. This I rode around the square outside with great relish as my mother explained everything to everyone there.

My father asked for me to be taken on a mission with him to New York, as a small holiday for me. The message had been sent through NG, who was exceptionally cold and frosty towards my mother, a woman who she had always been relatively friendly to. My mother was the same, her sultry green eyes venomous slits.

Then, before she left, NG told me in secret that there was a very serious reason behind the break up. I had shrugged to that, saying that my mother had told me they simply had fallen out of love. NG cackled wickedly and said that my mother had _simply _been fucking Jack for years, and that she _simply _had gotten fed up of hiding it, and had _simply _told my father about it.

This went completely whoosh! Over my head. I was twelve; I couldn't understand it at all. So I went to my mother and repeated what I'd been told and asked her what it meant and was it true?

My mother went quiet, pausing in her work, then told me that fucking meant sex and that yes, it was true. It wasn't a thing to get stressed about, it wasn't anything, my father was a Scottish piece of merde, and that I should not be so naïve, ma cherrie!

That was the start of all my adult neuroses, mainly the fear that somehow I will evolve into my mother. And the skin-crawling, puking hatred of Jack Harkness.

And right now, against all common sense and my rising sense of nausea, I was in his office and he still had his arm round my shoulder. For some reason, he still believes that we are as chummy as we were when I was say, seven. I don't even think he even knows I know about him and mum; that I still bobble along thinking that they were just friends. Yeah…. Because with NG around, even a nun couldn't stay devout.

"You probably won't believe this, but I still have your red bicycle down in one of the lower vaults."

He's talking… I just want to go to sleep now. NG's fucked off, Johnny has gone into a big sulk (Jack-related. They always get jealous when they meet him. It's a bizarre thing, really. Or not so… meh. I can't see anything past 'You slept with my mother for HOW LONG?') Alice is being Alice, somewhere; I can vaguely hear screams and loud thuds behind me.

"Hmm really." THAT BIKE IS BUILT ON A BED OF _LIIIIIIEEEEES_. "I haven't ridden that thing since I was twelve."

Silence. It's like a blanket, it just falls down and smothers everything. I didn't want to say anything.

"Sooooo….. You and Johnny then?"

"What!?" My voice came out exceptionally high and squeaky, and jumped about three million feet in the air.

Jack just laughed like a drain. "You should know by now that NG is not to be trusted at all… she told me on my earpiece. Thought I'd find it funny."

My cheeks burned miserably. "Bloody hologram. I bet you find it funny and all."

Again with the laughing. Stop laughing. Please stop laughing at me.

"Molly?" The door was flung open by Alice, wide eyed with a pair of blackened goggles seemingly attached to her forehead. "I was like trying to move my bed and then something just exploded on me…. Why are you sitting there like that?" Her pale eyes narrowed, darting from me to Jack. Alice, beyond all reasoning, is an incredibly devout Catholic. I mean beyond all reasoning. Those nuns really managed to screw her poor head up. Put one toe out of line and she'll be onto you like a shot, screaming of eternal hell fire and beating you round the head with the nearest thing her hands can find.

"Nothing's happening Alice. We're just talking." I took this as an opportunity to get up. I patted Alice on the head but she still looked suspicious.

"If they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion." She quoted snootily, sniffing loudly. I rolled my eyes and tried pushing her out the door. I did not want to get into a scripture-based battle.

"Really? That's Corinthians seven nine right?" Oh God, now he's started. Alice shoved me away with all her strength and nodded.

"Yes. Because it's wrong for you two to be sat there like that."

"Is that what you think? Have you ever thought about trying Jack Harkness chapter one verse eight?"

Alice's eyes narrowed and her mouth slowly mouthed the words. "What? I've never heard of that one…"

"That's the one that says 'Me and Molly are just old friends. I'm not planning to sleep with her'"

"Oh! That's okay then!" Alice smiled widely then raised a hand. "So what's your view on-"

"That's enough from you. I'm putting a safe bet on it being way past your bedtime and we need to straighten our rooms." I put one hand firmly on her head and forcibly turned her round. "I am not having another argument marathon based on religious doggerel."

"Awww but I want to… fine." She huffed, crossing her scrawny arms across her flat chest and skulking off towards the crashed remains of our home.

"And I want you cleaning, not watching Edward Scissorhands again." I shouted after her, before turning back to Jack. "I have a whole load of stuff to do. Erm… good night and watch out for NG; she is just on war path tonight if you ask me. Um, see you in the morning, yeah?"

"See you in the morning Molls." He aimed a polite kiss at my left cheek but I flinched and moved my cheek away.

His face dropped for a second then he smiled and patted my shoulder.

I walked away to our base. I slammed the door behind me and slowly slid down the door. I could not cope. I would not cope. This was going to be far too difficult.

NG's head suddenly burst through my feet, cackling wickedly, before zooming away. At least someone's happy.

* * *

**A/N: Hate me all you like. I fell out of love with writing. But (hopefully) I'll be updating this old beauty more and more.**

**This is of course Molly's POV before the whole blackmail-in-bed incident.**


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